Perfection Manual

 Time and again, I have seen people repeatedly criticising the other. Thinking its the best way to make the other improve. Do you really think the other improves?

What does criticism do? Criticism at any point does not work. It makes a person more defensive. You definitely are not helping. You are making matters worse.

I always like to ask the ones who enjoy criticising. Have you been given a Perfectionist certification. Are you qualified to do that. You come from your experiences and conditioning, how do you know they have been good. 

Every human is born differently. What works for one might not work for another. You have come from a different perspective, from a different school of thought. Every human makes a mistake . That’s what makes them humans. If we all had to be similar, why would not the creator do that for us? Why would he give us the trouble to do that? It definitely means, he wants us to be different, unique. 

If a person makes a mistake, that is also his freedom to do so. Its very easy to judge and criticise. Get into that person’s shoes for few minutes and think from where he or she is coming from. What has shaped him or her? 

When you hear criticism and judgment, what would be your reaction. The person staring out at you from the mirror, does he get that too.

Definitely!! 

You in turn see a lot of criticism there. You start criticising, thinking of all that is not there. Do not give yourself that, it deserves much more. You are born to make a difference. There’s a purpose to life! 

You are not here just to please others all the time. You have come for something much higher that just existing. 

Do not let others thoughts rub onto you. 

Like I always say” The ones who love you unconditionally will still do, the ones who love you after you have been conditioned by them, do they really live you”?

Think about it!

Let not anyone’s opinion mar your existence. Live the way you want. Do your best, leave the rest to the universe.

It’s non judgmental! 

Have a lovely Sunday ahead! 

Stay blessed!

Stay safe!

Keep smiling 😊

Don’t forget to love the one staring out from the mirror.

Daria at the Beach

 

Daria woke up feeling at peace. It was still early. She wanted to capture the rays of dawn at the beach. Her favourite spot.

She made her way to the beach. Feeling the early morning moist breeze. There was a little moistness in her eyes too. She sat at the beach and traveled back in time.

She could see her 8 year old self with all her cousins and family frolicking at the beach. This was mostly a ritual on a Friday morning. Then they would return back. Have a sumptuous lunch. Then relax through the day. How everything just came back to her. It was as if she had not left Kuwait ever. 

Today she was by herself at the beach. All had moved to different parts of the world. But each still carried a part of their childhood deep in their hearts. 

She looked down and found herself making her sand castle which she usually had done in the past. One huge wave had washed it all before she could complete it . Leaving just some wet sand in her palms. She looked deeply at it and thought”This was exactly how long ago all had been washed away with one giant wave in her life too”.

She looked deeply at the waves. Suddenly she was brought out  of it by the ring of her phone. 

Her friends were calling to check where she was. She could hear their excited chatter . She smiled and got up. Dusting the sands of time from her being. She wondered for a minute “ Whether she would ever be able to”

She slowly made her way out of the beach.

Excited about the day ahead. It felt so good to be back here. Felt like home. 

The last few days of Ramadan were the most beautiful. She was looking forward to the excitement. She smiled peacefully as she sat in the car.

She heard a lot of “ Sabah Al Khair”

Wished in return. It was truly “ Sabah Al Khair”

30 Prompts Poem!

 

Nostalgia

 Daria  had returned after 30 years to the place where she had opened her eyes for the first time. A brand new visitor to the world. To think of it! So true! We are all visitors. As she stepped out of the plane. The rush of memories left her weak hearted. She could feel the sheen of tears behind her eyes. Thankfully her oversized sun glasses were shielding it from the prying eyes all around her. 

This was the place she had found comfort. Grown up as a happy child. Child indeed she was, when her father was snatched away cruelly forever by the clutches of destiny. She still remembered her lost childhood. The worst was when after 4 years they left the comfort of this place too. She still remembered at the airport how longingly she had turned back for the last time. Hoping against hope that she would be stopped from going away forever. This was the place which had held her cherished memories. Her childhood spent in the tender, loving arms of her father.

The upheavals of life had taken her through various twists and turns. Today after 30 years, she came back to the comfort of it again. The reunion of her school brought her back. Her childhood friends missed her. She missed the scent of this place. The dust which settled on her being lovingly. How alive she felt once again!

She was so glad to have made this decision. This time round, she would do it all for herself.

Smiling she walked out after an hour from the airport. She heard joys of scream . She instantly knew. Her friends Sarah and Hiba were waiting for her. Suddenly all these years slipped away. The familiarity greeted her as she drove through the streets of Kuwait.

How happy she was to be back here again. Her favourite food joint at Salmiya was still standing tall and strong. It had aged a little though, just like her. How many times she had thought of these beautiful by lanes. So many memories attached to each. As they stopped to have Iced Tea,  She was greeted lovingly “Sabaah Al khayr “

How she had missed this. Instantly she found herself answering back with a beaming smile.

She did feel at home. She told herself “ Habibti this is where you belong”.

The Secret Door

 The Secret Door

I took hesitant steps through the dense forest to the old ancestral house. I had seen my parents go there often. They always spoke in whispers about that house. Today I had made up my mind to go there on my own. I was curious about the old wooden door which I was never allowed to open. As I entered the house , it was all eerily quiet. The caretakers were not to be seen. I slowly made my way towards the old wooden door. I could hear faint singing from behind the door. It could not be, thought I. I slowly opened the door. It opened without a sound. As I made my way inside. I was frozen. A little older version of me started out innocently at me. She had such a sweet smile and an angelic face. She was by playing on an instrument and singing to herself. She saw me and halted. She spoke “ So you finally came, didn’t you take too long”. I looked shocked at her. “ How did you know that I would come”?. Suddenly she looked angry and that’s when I got frightened. She said I have waited since 200 years for you to come and take me from here. I turned to flee. That’s when I found myself woken up rudely from my sleep. I had rolled off my bed and hit my head on the nightstand. Thank God! It was a nightmare!

Ohh God! The huge bump on my head laughed at me. 

Thank goodness 😅. It was just a nightmare. 

 © Shireen Haider 

The Ill Fated Afternoon

A short story written beginning with 

“Your character looking from behind a curtain”

Story Prompt writing ✍️ 

It was a beautiful afternoon.

The view outside was breathtaking. The

meadows looked lush and colourful. The

blossoms all dewy after the sudden

downpour. Summer showers left its own

earthy smell. The garden table was

glistening. I was lost looking at the freshly

showered lawn. So enticing. Suddenly a

similar afternoon came to mind. A sudden

blinding flash of memory which left me

jostling. The aftermath of which still had

the power even today to leave me shaken

and reeling. I could feel the sheen of tears.

The dewy mistress felt on my eyelashes.

My eyelids felt heavy. My whole body

drugged. A sudden intoxication left me

heavy. I felt myself transfixed and in a

limbo. How happy I had been! So many

dreams woven, hoping it would come alive.

So many wows taken together. Who had

known that was all I would be awarded.

Just that one afternoon. The next dawn

was the doom of my life. A dawn which had

set the sun forever in my life. You were

taken forever from me. The Ill fated

morning cast a dark shadow on my life

forever. I turned and let the curtain slide

back in its place. The show had ended

forever. The grand finale of life had played

itself. The curtain had fallen forever. The

world a stage. My part I had played to the best.

The taste of coffee ☕️ still tasted bitter sweet on my lips.

Your favourite cake which I had baked for you was the last I had baked. I never baked it again. What joy we had shared. So many dreams woven with the thread of 💕 love. How could you be taken away from me so cruelly. Why had destiny not felt our eternal love and bonding? The touch of your lips on my forehead as you sealed our vows forever. The ring you had placed on my finger still bears the testimony of our love. It feels heavy and forlorn. 

No lustre , No Joy, just a sunken heaviness rests now. 

All found and lost in one afternoon!

No farewell, No goodbyes, Just the promise of a return and a forever was what I had been promised. Alas! What did I know that a “Forever” was just an afternoon.

© 

Shireen Haider

Shiren_Haider

You Matter

 The joy of a girl being born is immense. She’s the pride of her father. The joy of her mother. A favourite of her brothers. A friend and confidante for her sisters. She goes through immense phases in her life. 

Ask the parents the biggest fear. It is what would happen in her next lap of journey. After she is betrothed, married. How many dreams and aspirations the parents weave. So many joyous thoughts they spin throughout her growing up. What happens when its not what they had aspired?

She is a breathing human. Born free. Does she not have a right to break away from the bond, if it mars  her being. Is the ultimate destination of a girl child  just to be married? Time and again I come across cases of girls and women being Ill treated. Yet they still want her to continue. How many are brave enough to stand up for themselves? Is the tag of being married more important or her happiness is paramount.

Why do we not make the girls self reliant, brave, courageous, independent and confident? Are these not important?

If their self respect and self esteem are being manhandled, what next they should be doing? Are these not more important. 

Teach her to hold her head high as she walks the path of life. Teach her not to be dependent on anyone. Teach her its okay to be different, imperfect and flawed. We are all humans . Not some perfect robots who are expected to know everything. Its okay to err. Erring is Human.

Why is a girl expected to donn  multiple roles perfectly? Does she not have a right to be the way she is? 

What is a girl’s ultimate destination? 

To be married and after that nothing more.

Make your daughters happy. Teach them the power of being happy. We are all given one life. Just one lifetime. 

Neither are we born with instruction manuals on how to keep performing exceptionally well. 

Its fine! Its okay to make mistakes. 

Teach her to value herself. Teach her the importance of living herself. Teach her to value her inner being.

A confident, resilient woman will chalk out her own path. 

Educate her. Stand for your daughters. Let not any injustice meet them.

The more faith the woman has in herself, the more battles, she will be able to win.

To all the powerful women and strong mothers. Do not teach your daughters to sacrifice all the time. Do not teach them its okay to be mistreated. It is not okay.

By staying quiet in the face of injustice, you are equally to be blamed. You are as guilty as them. 

Do not teach them to be a victim. Being victimised is not being good. Its being unfair to yourselves.

Teach them that at all times you stand with them. Do not make them feel alone and bereft.

Make them feel loved , appreciated and wanted all the time. 

Do not shun them when they come to you with their problems. 

Drop It

 It’s High Time! Yes! It’s now or never.

Drop it altogether!

You might be wondering about my opening lines. It is something to ponder about. 

15 things women should stop wearing after 30.

1) The look of sadness.

2) The frown which ages you.

3) The rivulets of tears.

4) Feeling of being undermined.

5) The tag of comparison.

6) The template of “you are not worthy”

7) The neck piece of “ Low self esteem”

8) The baggy apparel of low self appreciation.

9) The flat footwear of no drive to move forward.

10) The make up of “ Age”

11) Dress of the old.

12) The Badge of “ I am not good enough”

13) The weight of other people’s expectations and judgements.

14) The handbag of disdain brought about by others.

15) The cuff of misery adorning  your clenched palms.

Reveal your true being. Bring it out from where you have left her buried beneath the conditioning. Let her breathe freely. Rejoice in her truest hue. 

One thing which I have learnt and believe in. Which I would like to share it today . Something which keeps me going. A sort of mantra. 

“ The ones who love you will love you till the last breath, will accept you, just as you are”

Whereas the ones who could not love you will never be able to . Even if you become the best version of yourself. 

Mind you. You are the best !

You are unique!

You are one in a million.

You are the gift of God.

For some you will be “ Once in a lifetime”

For others “ You will never be enough in this lifetime”

Have a blessed day lovelies!

Wear your smile and your positive attitude, at all times.

Described Differently

 I was asked to describe love without using the word. This was my take on it.

The power of being attuned to the soul calling in other. Starting your day in meditative silence thinking of your soul mate. No matter where they are, feeling them the closest. Your unspoken answered in their spoken. You feel it, they sense it. You cry, they weep too in answer to your sorrow. Your being radiates joy just being close to them. You long and yearn only for them. Every desire of your heart is answered in “Earnest” by them. The true undulating joy seen in their eyes when they see you after a long time. Time stands still. You want to be lost in that moment, captive forever. Forever feels shorter. Eternal is what they try understanding. Lost in the world made just by them. The heartbeats in sync with each other. The calling of their joining understood by none. They sync in tandem to only their heartfelt tune of their souls. How beautifully they live it! How artistically they weave it into their fabric of their existence! The power of untold, unspoken understood rightly by their hearts, souls and spirit! Rest is still a mystery. Alluring and Enticing for Mankind.

Grandma’s kitchen

 

List of Simple Joys in Life

 The first thing we need to do is get out of the comparison trap. It’s definitely a killer. It just makes you more dissatisfied and leaves you feeling more dejected.

When you make your own special list, it helps you in changing the perspective. Earlier where you were leaving gratitude, now you would be grateful more than ever.

In the journey of life, its very difficult to remember each and every thing. Unfortunately in the nitty gritty of  life only what lacks stares out at you balefully. 

Maintains gratitude journal. Start penning your list. See how it changes your perspective. It will mostly leave you with a smile at the end of it. 

How to notice the simple joys in life. You need to catch your breath. Take a moment or two. Slow down. Introspect. Take out sometime to reflect. When you wake up or when you are just closing for the day. My favourite moment is usually early morning, right after dawn. When the world is still slumberous. I enjoy the quiet and the solitude. Usually I’m amidst nature. Either sitting and gazing or walking in their midst. It’s a great time to think. I get a lot of my answers then.

This practice helps you to change your negative outlook to a positive one.

Let’s start with the list. You could probably come up with one of yours.

1)Listening to rain hit the roof.

2) The first spell of rain after a scorching summer.

3) Going for a late night drive when it’s drizzling and stopping for ice-cream

4) An expected act of kindness.

5) Receiving a loving text, when you least expect it.

6) A surprise planned by your friends.

7) Looking at a breathtaking Sunset.

8) Receiving a compliment.

9) The sound of birds chirping.

10) The smell of Roses.

11) A perfect cold Coffee.

12) Going and having your favourite dessert on an impulse.

13) Going on a long drive with your favourite music playing.

14) Reading a new book.

15) Laughing hard with your friends.

16) A day at the spa.

17) Reading your favourite book.

18) Finding the exact item your were looking for on sale.

19) A song or fragrance that brings back old memories.

20) A nature walk

21) The smell of freshly baked muffins.

22) Friends who become family.

23) Practicing yoga 🧘‍♀️.

24) Meeting someone who immediately gets you.

25) Running into an old friend after decades.

26) Reunions.

27) Planning a vacation.

28) Trying a new recipe which turns out great.

29) A fire in the fireplace.

30) A good night of sleep.

31) The smell of your favourite candle.

32) Relaxing at the beach with those you love most.

33) Playing with the children in the rain.

34) Doing something thoughtful for someone.

35) Singing along to your favourite song.

36) Carrying on your favourite childhood traditions with your cousins.

37) Late nights with your cousins, creating a riot.

38) Singing along to your favourite song in the shower.

39) Your favourite soft cozy blanket.

40) The sound of waves at night.

41) A great mug of coffee.

42) A new notebook.

43) Trying out a new fun restaurant.

44)  Trying out a new recipe.

45) Accomplishing a goal.

46) Enrolling for a short fun workshop.

47) Reading a quote that resonates with you.

48) Doing a beauty regime at home.

49) Buying your favourite shade of lipstick.

50) Decorating your table with your favourite table linen and a vase of fresh flowers.

51) Unexpectedly receiving a bouquet.

52) Having dinner on a roof top restaurant under the canopy of stars.

So much to be grateful for in the long run. 

Every little thing is a blessing 😊

Choose wisely

 The power of believing!

Seeing it being manifested is for real! It’s happened countless times. The universe does hear your thoughts. What would you like it to hear? Think deeply before you give in to negative thoughts. Chaotic emotional tirade is what you would like to present the universe! Then what gifts 🎁 do you expect the universe will bestow.

Think!

In the most trying times, I have experienced the power of my wishes coming true. Manifested to the best!

Someone is definitely listening. Sometimes our mind and heart is at a conflict. What do you then? Who do you listen to! Definitely to the one belting out positive numbers! The orchestra of life, make it worthwhile, soulful. At times when we are tormented, it’s the toughest. That’s when the strength of your inner r self comes to the forefront. Dig in to the reserves of resilience being held there protectively. You will be surprised to find vestiges of power. Hope another dear friend who always smiles and stays by your side. Lighting your dark sky with twinkling stars. There yet not there. When you need it, just a stone’s throw away.

Many a times during meditation, I have seen the power of it. It has amazed me. Left me spell bound. I always believed the universe holds you in its space. Then does not the universe deserves to be held in your positive thoughts. 

The power of wishful thinking is for real. Start believing and practising!

See the magic of it!

Have a blessed day ahead 😊

Please kindly take a minute to hold everyone in your thoughts and prayers. The ones who are battling in war torn regions, the ones being hit by the fury of nature and the ones who are battling their inner demons!

Ramadan

 

Ramadan has always been my favourite month. The power of the divine felt greatly in this blessed month. Incidentally my birth month too from the urdu calendar. This month it is even more special because last year I did get a second chance at life in this blessed month. I was battling for my life. Almost lost my life. The divine kept me safe . I was born again. In the literal sense! 

This month has always made me realise deeply the power of being thankful. How blessed we are truly. The essence of true gratitude 🙏. The spirit of compassion. The satisfaction of sharing and giving. Each brought home more in this beautiful month. 

What always leave me a little saddened are the orphans, the children from the war torn regions. The ones who are still fasting and not sure of their next meal. Yet their faith in the almighty, so resolute and unshakable. 

O’ Almighty. Today I just ask you to take care of all those little ones around the world, who have lost their parents to war or covid. The ones who are heart broken, laden in despair, adorned in sorrow. 

Spread your light of cheer. Place smiles instead of tears. Make each heart illuminated.

Wishing Ramadan Kareem to all!